I'd write an open letter to open letters if I could stomach writing an open letter. I find it difficult to read one without cringing at least once.

I can't quite put my finger on why, but I guess it's that they're publicly private in a way that makes me uncomfortable; like a drunk wife berating her husband for his lack of table manners in front of dinner guests (think Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?). It's not that I have a problem with people publicly voicing their opinions (clearly, I write a column that appears on a page of the paper called "Voices"), it's that I wonder why you would feel the need to make it personal.

We've seen a rash of open letters this year - Sinead O'Connor to Miley Cyrus, Jian Ghomeshi's TMI opus to the world - and this week that rash looked like it needed some ointment.

Last week we had that (really dumb) one from Republican Party communications director Elizabeth Lauten to the Obama girls. In it, Lauten admonished Sasha and Malia for not having enough "class" while attending the Turkey Pardoning. First of all, give those kids a break - I'm sure they'd rather be hanging out with friends than their dad and an undercooked piece of poultry. Second, Ms. Lauten, how "classy" is it for a GOP staffer to attack the First Children on her Facebook page? I guess it's classy enough to warrant your resignation.

We also saw an O.L. from model Arisce Wanzer to Kendall Jenner. The bitter tirade scolds Jenner for not having had to work as hard as other models to find success.

"Take a moment and remove yourself from your current situation … to a life that isn't riddled with excess and only hearing the word 'yes'," Wanzer writes.

I get it, yes: People with golden horseshoes up their genetically superior rear ends are irritating, and I'm always in the mood for a good Kardashian bashing. But this isn't Kendall Jenner's fault, it's the modelling industry's. They're the ones that gave Jenner the work. Aside from this letter revealing that you're insecure and sour (let's face it, you're probably really hungry), you've also aimed your letter at the wrong target. Besides, Kendall is so rich, she probably can't even read.

On Wednesday, the National Post printed an open letter from Canadian musician Dave Bidini to Joni Mitchell. In it, he references a recent Maclean's article in which Mitchell said a lot of uncomplimentary things about her fans, and a few too many complimentary things about herself. It's true, she sounded like a cow with a sore udder. Though I agreed with Bidini, I was still getting that uncomfortable open-letter feeling.

But then I thought, "Maybe this was the only appropriate format." How else would Bidini pitch that to the National Post? "I want to write an article about how Joni Mitchell is a piece of poo."? So maybe sometimes open letters are necessary?

That said, I'm still firm on my original stance. I find open letters masturbatory - they're basically talking to themselves - condescending, and self-aggrandizing.

So, here's an open "note" to open letter writers: If you don't know someone well enough to have their mailing address, chances are, they don't know you well enough to care what you think.

Rebecca Kohler is a stand-up comic, writer, actor, gymnast, lawyer and chemist. (Some of this isn't true.) Follow her on Twitter at @becca_kohler