07/23/02 - 11:28pm Boulder, Colorado

There is no oxygen here. I have a headache.

Ok, I gotta write something today. I know I have to stop reading the message board. I want to read it so I can answer your questions but you people are all insane. Well, at least some of you. God, how can you call me a whiner? All you do is complain. Waa waa waa all day long. You say I complain about all your picture and autograph needs. I really don't mind your requests. I only mind all the whining you do if I say no. "Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please. Oh please Adam, it's just one. It'll only take one second (as long as you don't sign anyone else's but only mine). Just one second. Oh please Adam. Ooh please ohpleeeeze oooooooh puuhhleeeeeze. Please. Who's really whining? Listen to yourselves sometime. You're so much fun to hang out and talk with sometimes. I love Counting Crows fans because they're intelligent thoughtful people (most of the time). Why are you so insane over this issue? How can you be sensitive enough to understand these songs and yet not sensitive enough to respect someone's personal space and feelings? Especially when they come from the same person. Me. I doubt you would make the same sort of demands of anyone else in your life. Surely your mother said no to you at some point in your life without you thinking she was selfish and shallow and egotistical. Why do you think it of me? I think I'm kind of the opposite of all that stuff. All I ever asked was that you treat me like a regular person since that's really all I am.

There is all this talk of whether the record is too commercial. I have no idea. All I know is that I love it and however commercial it is; it's exactly the way we wanted it to be. It certainly has nothing to do with any corporate pressures as some dumbasses have suggested. If we were really concerned with pleasing the corporate types and being really commercial, we would have made "AugustÖ" over and over again instead of constantly trying to change and grow and explore. That was certainly a commercial success and if we had a fiscal brain in our heads we'd go find T-Bone and regurgitate one of those every few years. Believe me, the corporate people have always wanted that. But regurgitation is just exactly what that would be and that bores the shit out of me. (Don't you love the way I get to curse but you don't?) So if you like it, great. If you don't, that's cool too. It's probably just because your tastes are different than ours.

As for why I like Nelly, it's because the man is funky. And that track was produced by the Neptunes who are my favorite producers. Can you not just dig how fucking funky it is? As for the lyrics, IT'S ABOUT SEX! Have you ever heard "Superfreak" or "Brick House"? These are not deeply poetic ruminations on the human condition. They are still great songs. How about "ABC" or ""She Came In Through The Bathroom Window"? Those are truly stupid songs. Still great though. So what's the criterion? Rick James, The Commodores, The Beatles, and the Jackson 5. All with stupid songs. All songs that belong in every record collection. Don't get your fears of what MTV and shitty radio is shoving down your throat confuse what the criterion is for good music. If it moves you, whether in your heart, your head, your ass, or your crotch, then it's good. As far as I'm concerned, that's all I need.

As for Britney, well, I find the way it's marketed a bit appalling but I like the song. And for what it's worth, she's always seemed like a nice girl to me when we've met. But I don't really know her so that's just a brief impression. Still, some people are tools from moment #1 so..

Okay. Last shot before I go. To the girl who got all in an uproar over "Big Yellow Taxi", what is up your ass? Joni loved the song. She was so happy she invited me to hear her new album. And while I didn't take "Songwriter 101" as you so obviously did, I think I do know how to interpret a song. And the reason that song is such a killer is that at the end, after she has spent the entire song lamenting the loss of our environment and our ignorance in the face of its passing, her "old man" leaves her and she realizes that the environment is not the only thing that can waste away if not paid attention to. What makes her so brilliant is the way she sneaks that in there and then blindsides you with it right at the end. She makes you think, and then she breaks your heart while you're not looking. She named the song "Big Yellow Taxi" after the car that takes him away. She must have thought it was an important part of the song. She didn't call it "Paved Paradise" after all. As for my lyrical changes, they amount to the three words or so it took to change the sex.

She wrote:

Late last night I heard the screen door slam
And a big yellow taxi took away my old man

I wrote:

Late last night I heard the screen door sway
And a big yellow taxi took my girl away

Those are off the top of my head so there may be a word wrong here or there but they certainly don't change the meaning of the song and neither did I.

God, I just read this and I'm sort of an asshole tonight. Wow. Cool. Uh sorry. You know, sometimes ya gotta let it out. So.. wow.. I should probably go now before I decide to delete this... because I don't want to delete it..welcome to my head.. ouch.

There is no fucking oxygen here. I still have a headache.

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